Mon Apr 29, 2013, 10:23 AM
This is a lame journal entry to tell you that I'm still not any better at replying to comments because I've been SO busy lately. I haven't been uploading a lot either because I never really come around to editing the photos I take (and I do take a lot now that my second semester has started!), but I am posting photos on my instagram account quite regularly. So if you're interested in what I'm up to, please don't hesitate to stop by. (:
Some recent photos:
New photos will be coming soon - I promise!
Hope everyone is having a lovely day.
Thu Aug 30, 2012, 10:32 AM
I'll be in Corsica together with my friends for the next three weeks, over my birthday as well. (:
I'm sorry I didn't have any time to reply to comments and messages again, I was horribly busy.
I won't be online until september 20, so have a good time everyone!
Mon Aug 6, 2012, 8:48 AM
It's been quite a while since I sat down to write about my life the last time and it's been quite a while since I've actually known what I'm doing. Half of 2012 is already over again and I don't want to get caught up in talking about how fast time passes because I'm sure you get that a lot, but I must admit sometimes it takes me by surprise when I look at the date.
The first few months of this year were quite stressful, I worked a lot and at some point realised I finally needed to decide on what to study. A long and nerve-wracking search began, and by the time I'd chosen two unis I wanted to apply to, I still had no idea if they were right for me in any way. But during the following weeks I put everything I had into my applications, I finally took photos again that I was proud of, and all the happiness it brought me within the stress showed me that I was probably doing the right thing. It was a little frustrating to spend so much money on printing photos, buying a portfolio and cardboard, making books, travel expenses and a lot more, seeing as I had no guarantee whatsoever if what I was doing would be successful in the end. In April I quite my job at the bakery to be able to fully concentrate on my artwork, and by the end of May my deadlines were finally over. I soon got a letter that I was invited to a qualification test at my first choice uni, which took place in mid June. I was very nervous and very much convinced that I'd already shown them everything I was able to create in my application, that I wouldn't be able to impress them with anything else. Much to my relief, the test was written and not practical, but still I thought I'd failed completely when I was done six hours later. I had an interview the next day which was a bit better, and the tuesday after I got a letter that I was, after months of waiting and working and doubting myself, indeed accepted. I will now be attending a uni in Stuttgart starting this coming October, studying "Design, Art and Media". (:
These past one and a half months have been relieving and busy at the same time. I'm incredibly thankful that at last, I know where I'm going with my life, that I have something to look forward to. And still, I haven't really been able to enjoy my last free summer at all. Somewhere in the long process of applying to uni I got a new job, and I feel like I've been working non-stop although I know that is not in the slightest true. It's just that I can never really relax, and forget about everything that I have to do. But I guess it's a good exercise for what my life will bring as soon as I'll be studying and not living at home anymore. I'm currently in search of a flat to rent together with my friends Seb and Chrisse, and it's a little draining not to know if we'll find one before my first semester starts.
Exactly three months ago I started going running every other day, and although sometimes I feel incredibly unmotivated, it's been doing me really good that I just pull myself together and always go no matter what. I feel like I've been working really hard on my self-discipline in every aspect in my life, and I'm actually getting my act together slowly but surely.
My 100 days project isn't exactly helping me to be creative right now, but it's a lovely reminder of every day and a good way to document what I've been doing.
I've just spent a week near Hamburg visiting my friends Fenja and Janna, and in a week's time I'm going to Berlin for a few days together with my sister and some of her friends to celebrate her birthday. And then in September I'll spend three weeks in Corsica together with Nina, Julian and Chrisse. Those are my plans for the rest of the summer, and I'll spend the little time I'll be home working and preparing myself for uni.
I wouldn't be able to put my finger on how I've been if somebody asked, but I think it's safe to say that I'm doing my best and maybe even that in the end, I am doing quite good. In case you're interested in knowing more about me on a regular basis, I guess the best way would be to have a look at my blog every once in a while, for it is the site I update the most.
To those who actually read all of this: Thank you. It makes me happy to know that there are some people who still care about what I'm doing although I haven't been very active on here. But I want you to know that deviantart will always have a special place in my heart, for it first brought out my love for photography five years ago. In fact, it was my anniversary on here just a little over a week ago - the 28th of July. I was attending a photography meetup at Lake Constance that weekend, and caught myself smiling when I realised, while talking to ~NikolasBrummer, that it was that day of the year.
I hope all of you are having a good summer so far!
Sat May 26, 2012, 11:35 AM
Hey you reading this! (:
I've slowly been getting back into deviantart, replying to comments and looking at photos and it feels wonderful! I've missed this place quite a lot without even noticing.
Anyway, I've founded a new group called the places we go today, that is for all kinds of photos taken of people from behind, focusing on them and their surrounding. It's still a little quiet over there, so I would appreciate it if you'd check it out here!
Some examples that fit the theme of the group, and that I love:
Wed Apr 18, 2012, 7:00 AM
Hello all of you out there!
I figured I'd put together a last feature since my subscription expires in a few days. I've started a donation pool so maybe I'll be able to buy a new one sometime in the future.
Every time I write a journal entry on here I think about what I've been up to. This time it's easy: Not much. I quit my job to have lots of time for my uni application. I'm applying to three different art schools, but actually just want to go to my favourite really. I've been trying to get creative again, which is good. Falling ill last week threw me back a little and I'm still not feeling too well., but I hope to be taking lots of photos soon. And I think that's about it. Life is quiet, I haven't been seeing my friends much and just spending time at home.
Wed Sep 14, 2011, 10:11 AM
I spent the past few days organizing the six rolls of films I brought with me from my stay as an au pair in France earlier this year. It took me a long time, but I have finally put them all together in one post along with thoughts and writings and explanations, and most of all a lot of feelings.
END OF NOVEMBER 2010 - MIDDLE OF APRIL 2011
"When something begins, you generally have no idea how it's going to end."
- Meredith Grey
I remember one day when I had just arrived, I went into town together with my host mum
and had to wait for her while she had an appointment. I went into a café, had a coffee,
wrote into my notebook and tried to grasp that new, entirely french world around me.
I thought I could be doing that more often if I ever felt like I didn't know what to do because
my thoughts were chasing after me. The atmosphere in cafés is just so different from
the rest of the world out there and despite the people around me, I could concentrate
completely on myself for a moment. The truth is I never did it again during the following
four months, for there was just no need to.
It's wednesday night and I miss you by my side.
It's easier to be the one who stays.
that moment when others realize you’re hurt.
their comforting silence is what you needed most.
Knowing where to go from here? I'm getting there.
the mornings in the beginning
"It was not the feeling of completeness I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty."
- Jonathan Safran Foer
When I suddenly miss everything,
I attempt imagining how I would feel if I would be home now,
before my time here is up.
And although it is hard,
I realize I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
And things are easier for a little while.
on my way back [home]
Sometimes you might have to take a step back to see what you should have done.
And sometimes you get the chance to do so when you take the next step forward.
It was here, watching Grey's Anatomy and simply spending time with Zoe, that my
homesickness disappeared completely for the first time.
And it never actually came back again.
feeling lost in the amount of time as a whole
Where I spent my afternoons drinking cider black and coffee and exchanging top ten things
lists and eating muffins when someone left and just sitting around in the sun because things always
seemed to be okay when we were there. A place where I met people who were important at the
time and who I might never see again now that we're not there anymore.
Cece, who used to randomly wink at strangers.
Zoe, who left far too early.
You're lying on the couch reading that really good book, and you catch yourself thinking
how you'd like your life to be just a little like it so that you won't have to close it when
you're finished and search for the next good one. It would just continue for a while and
then change but that's okay because even good books have bad sequences.
Things are going okay and you're about to forget, forget all the pain and feelings you were
trying to get over. And then you take one step back and start thinking about someone you
met. All the people they know and what they mean to them, all the places they went and
all the things they experienced. And suddenly you realize you know nothing about them
while they still feel so familiar. And as the fear of not meaning a thing to them is eating you
up, you want to share everything.
Lisa, who I was spending so much time with that I couldn't even imagine not seeing her
every day anymore when going back home. I miss making fun of people with her who
kept telling us to “stop speaking german” because they had no idea what
we were saying. I miss buying her drinks although she'd payed for my last one and we
just took turns all the time. I miss having a midnight snack with her and writing silly notes
for her host mum after a fun night, and having laugh attacks right after waking up the
next morning because we remembered everything we did and talked about and because
we were still feeling a little drunk.
I miss having coffee and making pancakes with her, although we continually reminded
one another that we ate too much and needed to do more sports.
I miss spending my free day with her although we never managed to go up the
mountain until 12 and started complaining about how tired we were half an hour
later. I miss going boarding with her and talking about everything and nothing in the lifts.
(Our favourite pist was called Les Aiguillettes and we pronounced it wrong until a french
guy taught us how to say it correctly.)
I miss hanging around at her’s while she took care of her children, because I was too lazy to go home.
I miss texting her 5 times a day because it was incredibly important to tell each other
how annoyed we were.But most of all, I miss just having her around.
How could I ever forget about you?
Emily, who's singing with the band Beer Pressure I absolutely loved.
Anaëlle, who came into my room on the very first day at the end of november,
gave me a kiss on the cheek without having talked to me before, and made me realize
that things are going to be okay.
Charlotte, Anaëlle's best friend who lives just a few houses down the street.
Lilou, who asked me "je peux voir?" every time I took a photo with my film camera,
and every time I tried to explain that you can't see the photos right away because
they are on a film inside of the camera. It doesn't make much sense to a child, does it?
On my own, I am no one.
time to concentrate on myself rather than observing situations I am no longer part of
Ash, who called Serre Chevalier for us to make après ski "a little bit fucking earlier".
Lou, who drunkenly agreed to be my new best friend after Lisa had left.
Gillan, who loved us although we always wanted coffee when other things were so much
easier to make.
Joe, who wasn't pissed.
Kieran, who drove in the middle of the road instead of the wrong side "for it was safer".
A day in Briançon when my old life encountered me as my mum came to pick me up.
The very last day actually.
Françoise, who it was so easy to become good friends with in such a short period of time.
I miss sitting in a park and car with her to eat pizza, and spending so much time with her on our
days off that we didn't know what to do when we were home with our children again. I miss
going to another pub with her just because the drinks were cheaper, and the silly things we did.
I miss making jokes with her because she is one of the wittiest people I have ever met. I just miss
seeing her every free minute during my last weeks in France.
Tom, who was the only one who didn't wear his own hat at the end of the night, and who still
went swimming in a hotel pool with us.
this was the first winter that wasn't dark
Tue Aug 16, 2011, 3:41 PM
That I am spending a last week at home. I'm going to England next monday! I still didn't book a return flight yet, but I'll be staying about four weeks. I'll meet up with four amazing photographers (Katie Lionheart, Lauren Maccabee, Kitty Gallanaugh and Rosa Furneaux) and hopefully stay with a friend I met in France for a few days. I am currently spending my time working to gain enough money for my trip, scanning in film photos, editing photos, making presents and taking care of everything I'd like to get off my mind before I leave.
I have received some very lovely comments here on deviantart lately and for that I am very thankful. All the support on here has made me come back and stay and I am actually recovering my love for this community.
There will finally be coming all film photos I took in France, some I took when I met up with Laura Zalenga, Noukka Signe and Ana antl, even more from two short trips with my friends and a few I took in between, sometime during the following days.
- Mood: dA Love
Sun Jul 31, 2011, 11:06 AM
This is three days too late, but I've been a member of deviantart for four years now. (: I don't quite know how to put my appreciation for it into words for it made me fall in love with photography, even though I was far more active when I first came here. However, I am really inspired right now and I've got lots of photos to share, both digital and film. Apart from that I've started working at a bakery to gain money for my trip to England, where I'm going on the 22nd of August. Also, my new website has been in the making for almost a year now, but it should be done soon!
A few photos I love:
- Mood: dA Love
Mon Jun 6, 2011, 7:38 AM
I felt the need to write a new journal entry seeing as my last one dates 6 months back. During those 6 months, and even before, I kind of neglected deviantart and the whole internet world. I went to France as an au pair, learned so many things about myself, met new people, made new friends and new experiences, and I changed. But somewhere inside of me there is still the old me, who loves to take photos and would like to share them with others. And whereas I haven't really used my digital camera in France and after coming back home a little over a month ago, I am tempted to take more photos again from now on. I just finished replying to hundreds of piled up comments I received and kind of ignored during the past months, and it feels fantastic that there are still people out there who appreciate my photos even though they might have changed, and even though I haven't been around a lot. But I guess I'm back now, I have yet to upload some film photos from France, and digital ones I recently took. I also started to look at all the beautiful photos my contacts uploaded again, which I haven't done in a very long time either. I posted some of my current favourites below.
I hope you are all doing awesome and I'm glad to still be a part of this community, after almost 4 years. I'll be back soon with a huge blog post about my time in France, new photos and maybe news about what my life is going to be like in the future. But first I need to figure that out myself. (:
So long, Rona
- Mood: dA Love
Wed Nov 24, 2010, 9:47 AM
I'm writing this journal entry now because I'm quite busy at the moment and I'm afraid I won't be on DA much during the following two days. on saturday I'm going to France to spend 4 and a half months there (with a break around christmas) as an au pair. I have a lot of things on my mind right now and I'm busy all day, but I should have internet access in France and I'm bringing my laptop. I still have some photos to upload and comments to reply to, but I guess that'll have to wait until I can sit down and breathe again.
I hope you're all good and I will probably be back on here sometime next week. in another country. so long!
- Mood: dA Love
Fri Nov 12, 2010, 12:42 PM
that's what I am when it comes to checking and answering my messages and a lot more right now. I have quite some time on my hands at the moment, but somehow I manage to find things to do all day long without ever taking care of some of the most important ones.
and that is exactly why I didn't even notice that my photo week twenty three was chosen as a daily deviation the other day. however, I am very happy about it, even if I only found out a few days later.
I'm also tempted to reply to my piled up comments on here this weekend and I'm currently scanning in film photos, so I might have some new pictures to upload soon.
- Mood: dA Love
Tue Oct 12, 2010, 3:05 PM
a few days ago I noticed that it's been three and a half months since I finished school. when I think back now, I wonder what I've been doing all the time. it is weird how fast time seems to pass. but I'm good. school started again and I was so glad I didn't have to go. I miss the people and even some of the classes, but I definitely do not miss all the stress. I can stay up late now without having to wonder about an exam the next day and I can concentrate on other stuff. and although I have a lot more time on my hands, I am never bored. I do notice that I don't take care of everything I want to do and rather waste my time on unimportant stuff, though. I want to change that, I started reading again the other day and I'm tempted to make some things for my room.
as I'm sure you were able to tell from my photos, I had a wonderful summer. but things are changing and a few of my friends moved already. after spending almost all my summer with them, I sometimes feel lonely when I'm home alone now. but the ones who are still here are busy, and so am I. if everything works out I will go to France at the end of november and stay there for four and a half months. it feels good to finally have a plan after weeks of not knowing what will come next.
the weather has been wonderful the past few days and I wish I'd taken more photos than I actually did. but I lost my remote two weeks ago and I'm not used to using the self timer anymore, so I'm currently waiting for the new one I ordered to arrive.
so this was me just writing about what came into my head after deciding to write a new journal entry. I hope you're all doing really good.
- Mood: dA Love
Sat Sep 25, 2010, 8:50 AM
I took a lot of film photos while being on holiday
with my friends, but I'm still trying to figure out
the film scanner I got for my birthday and so it
will probably take some more time until I'll upload
them. but they will be coming.
as well as the photo for week fifty two.
- Mood: dA Love
Wed Sep 15, 2010, 10:30 AM
just wanted to tell you that I'm going on vacation with my friends for some days over my birthday (september 17). I'll be back on saturday and I will upload the last two pictures of my fifty two weeks project when I'm back home.
have a great time everyone
- Mood: dA Love
Fri Sep 10, 2010, 3:37 AM
I am no fan of betraying people to others, but ~StunningBubbles is getting on my nerves. yesterday someone told me she has uploaded one of my pictures to her account and so I reported it and left her a comment saying she should stop stealing other people's work. my picture got deleted, but there is at least one more stolen picture in her gallery and all she did was hiding the comment I wrote on her page and talking about having such a good start on here in her journal. this doesn't affect me anymore, but it annoys me and I would like to ask you guys for help. please report her or leave her a comment and tell her that what she's doing is wrong.
edit: she blocked me now and continues to hide every comment she gets about the stolen work. that is just so pathetic.
apart from that I'm quite good, after finishing my 100 days of summer project I didn't take a single photo yesterday. the missing photos of my fifty two weeks project will be uploaded soon, I just need to finish editing them.
have a great day everyone!
- Mood: dA Love
Mon Aug 30, 2010, 4:36 AM
there are nine days of my summer project left
and two weeks of my fifty two weeks project
as soon as I have uploaded the missing pictures.
I am excited.
- Mood: dA Love