that girl right there
will make it on her own
so this is it, the end of a project that has lasted for a whole year.
during the past fifty two weeks, I believe I have come closer to the person I am supposed to be. when I started this project, I was afraid of what would come next and at the same time I wanted to remember every single moment of it.
my last year of school began and I have never been as stressed before. I have never slept as little before and I have never wanted to give up as many times before. when I look back now, I see all I have been feeling in the pictures I took for every week of that year. I see despair and loneliness, but at the same time joy and feeling safe.
during the first thirty weeks school took over my life and I hardly had time for anything else. but at some point, I had survived my a-levels and the stress was over for at least a bit. I could finally spend time with friends again and relax, only to get drawn back by new exams and tests a few weeks later. a last stressful phase began and in week forty one, everything was over. everything I feared when I started this project was suddenly over and I was the happiest I have ever been. I could finally concentrate on other things, I made new friends, and although there have been bad and unproductive days too, this summer was the best one I ever had.
and now I am almost where I have been last year: I am afraid. afraid of what the future will bring. afraid of letting go everything that was, afraid of things changing and friends leaving. but there is this little difference. I have learned a lot during the past year and I believe that this project has helped me appreciate everything I have and that is what makes accepting changes easier for me now.
in some respects I know exactly what I want, and then again I have no idea whatsoever. and that is okay as it is.
the past year also made me realize where I want to go with my photos. I have started to take film photos and I took a picture a day for one hundred days of my summer. all that, and most of all the photos I took for this project, made me realize that I want them to be memories. when I look at all the pictures I’ve taken during the past fifty two weeks, I see that I have done something right. because they make me feel and they mean the world to me. and that is all I wanted to achieve when I started this project.
I hope at least some of them also mean something to all of you guys out there who are viewing and commenting and favouriting my photos. and I just want to say thank you for always being here and looking at what I wanted to express. Thank you so very much.
right now I don’t know what will come next, but I know that I have a whole new life ahead of me.
and I know that I want to develop. I want to change. I want to make it on my own.
september 6 – 12, 2010fifty two weeks project© Rona Keller
All rights reserved. My images may not be used without my permission.